I decided quite sometime ago that bars and clubs are just not the pick up venue for me. It's not that I don't like to go out, I would just rather spend the evening at these types of places with friends. There's something about loud music, low lighting and alcohol that cause men to start using that long, lingering look that is supposed to warm me up for them to strike up a conversation and buy me drink but typicaly inspires the feeling of wanting to run home and take a shower.

So, where does one go to meet eligable singles? Apparently your local grocery store is one of the hottest spots in town. I thought it was weird too until I met two different boys in a two week span.

The first boy had a bumbling approach at best. I was staring at greens trying to decide if I should go with mint or parsley when I heard someone ask if I lived here.

What?! Who? Me? You mean here...in the grocery store? No, I don’t.

I picked up my basket and headed straight for Frozen Foods where I didn’t need a thing.

Alright, alright. I suppose it caught me off guard but seriously, I didn’t even notice him standing there. So it was my first time being approached in the grocery store but I still think there needs to be some kind of eye contact protocol or something here so we don’t have an outbreak of freaked-out girls peeping around corners in their grocery stores trying to get back to the section of the store that contains the things they actually need to buy so they can go home!

The second time went much better. This boy had a much smoother approach, also I was no longer a timid grocery store virgin. I was in Dairy getting my favorite organic milk from Horizon. He waited for me to finish in the case and then he said while grabbing a Horizon container for himself, “This is the only kind of milk I drink.” Okay so it’s not like he compared me to the sun or anything but as it turns out this is the only kind of milk I drink so we found common ground.

As we chatted I ran through the check list; nice face (check), clean cut (check), well spoken (check), no Cheez Whiz or Lucky Charms in the basket (check). Then I did something I don’t normally do; I assessed myself. Did I put makeup on? Did I even brush my hair? Did I just come from the gym, am I sweating? Do my clothes match? …and please oh please tell me there are no frozen Hungry Man dinners in my basket!

…whew, we’re okay.

I don’t want to give the impression that I am constantly running to the grocery store in sweaty, mismatched clothing to pick up a stack of frozen Hungry Man dinners; it’s just that I never thought about what I looked like when running to the grocery store before. Well all of that is changing. Now before I ever step through the automatic doors I do a quick once over. Not primp, but neat because ladies, you never know who’s looking…and if that isn’t reason enough to stay away from the Hungry Man dinners, well, then I just can’t help you.